|
Every month Barbra Schulte writes a column for The Quarter Horse Journal. One of the best-read columnists, Schulte uses her professional training to teach others about building confidence, bolstering their courage and, above all, turning negatives into positives.
Last year, Barbra and her husband, Tom, suffered the greatest tragedy for any parent. They lost their only child, Zane, to a particularly rare form of cancer called malignant fibrous histeocytoma, a bone cancer that is rarer still in teenagers.
M.D. Anderson Medical Center in Houston, one of the country's leading cancer hospitals, became the Schulte's second home. The 90-mile trip from their home in Brenham, Texas, grew familiar through 19 trips for surgeries and too many doctors' visits to count.
In the end, doctors amputated Zane's leg in an attempt to slow down the cancer. When it became apparent that conventional medicine could no longer help Zane, the Schulte's took him to Mexico for treatment, but he didn't fit the patient profile.
Zane planned his own funeral, choosing speakers and pastors to tell his story – but not one with an ending – his was just beginning.
Remembering
 It still hurts. It always will. When Barbra and Tom talk about Zane their eyes still well with tears. Talk to them together and their hands automatically join in an unspoken safehouse of support.
You can almost see the flood of memories reinforcing a father's pride and a mother's joy. They remember the days from before the cancer, when their lives manifested themselves in Zane. The days after – days when the sorrow, pain and anger were offset by the joy that their boy gave to others.
"When I think of Zane, the word I think of is 'joyful'," Barbra said. "He always looked for solutions by seeing the very best of a situation. He didn't try to be happy, he just was."
Tom and Barbra could have turned bitter, they could have forsaken their values and their faith – and the example set by Zane – and they could have chosen to blame everything else around them for his loss.
But as Tom shared at the funeral, "We're going through some tough times, but it just depends on how you look at it. You can see his death as a tragedy or his life as a gift; that gives us comfort and makes us very proud."
In her December 2000 column, Barbra wrote, "Zane was a gift of inspiration to me. He was my only son. He made his transition to a heavenly life in June of this year. It has taken courage for me to face the days since then, but I have a rich reservoir of his loving and courageous spirit to draw from."
Extraordinary
 Zane left a deep reservoir. Maybe not quite the perfect child, his parents couldn't think of anything he'd done wrong. Inducted into the National Honor Society and a straight-A student, he was a football and basketball star at Brenham High School.
Being the son of a horse trainer, Zane loved the ranch and the horses too, but sports were his first love. In fact, it was a chronically sore knee that kept getting in the way of playing that led to the diagnosis of his disease.
He loved people most of all. Each time he went to the hospital, he spent most of his time encouraging others. Five- and 6-year-old patients loved for Zane to hold their hands during treatment, read them stories or dazzle them with his bag of tricks (which he made his mother pack each time).
"Everyone wanted to be his nurse," Barbra said. "They had scheduling problems when Zane was at MDA because all of the kids wanted their treatment the same time he was there."
Margaret Pearson, a doctor's assistant at MDA, said at Zane's funeral, "He had a contagious optimism. Zane never saw obstacles, he only saw goals."
Whenever Zane came home, he arranged trips with his friends, went to ball games and spent time with his dogs. And he didn't bring any of his problems along with him. People felt better after they had talked to Zane. If he could be positive about his problems, then most others didn't seem so big.
Tom recounted a story of how, before he had cancer, Zane befriended a new kid at school. When Zane saw the newcomer sitting alone, he made the effort to sit next to him and invite him into the group.
Zane's thoughts
Zane kept a journal throughout his sickness. The first entry was written to classmates shortly after being diagnosed with cancer. He e-mailed the second entry to one of his favorite teachers, who was also struggling with cancer, two days before his death.
Sunday, August 1, 1999
 I just wanted you to know that while I have been going through all of this, I have found out some things, and I thought I would share them with you.
First, never, ever give up. I have found that out through many things. Because if you give up, then what are you living for? Don't give up.
Next, you need to have a great relationship with the Lord. This includes reading the Bible and prayers. This is most important. God is the most powerful thing of all. When I do hear, not often, bad news such as my tumor, I start to feel really bad. I think of how powerful the tumor must really be. But then, I compare it to God. Wow! That is like putting me up against Mark McGwire in a home-run-hitting contest.
Finally, I want everybody to live every day, one day at a time. And enjoy it.Laugh at yourself.
Zane
Friday, June 16, 2000
Well, Mrs. Jenkins, we are going through some tough times, but that is only how you look at it. After my tumor came back in my knee and lymph nodes, we decided to leave MDA and do alternative treatment in Mexico. The first one stabilized me, but didn't cure me. Then we tried again there, but the cancer came back in my groin, abdomen, pelvis and lungs.
About a week ago, we went to Tijuana for some different treatment, but I wasn't in the parameters. So they sent me home with some stuff. So, now I have give it up to the Lord.
At first, I was scared when I wasn't able to breathe, but my dad settled me down by telling me to find a "safe and happy" place where I am comfortable. And from that day on, I have considered that to be my dream house for when I go to heaven. I am very anxious to live and preach God's word; or if the time comes soon, then I couldn't be happier to go sit at my Father's side.
Well, I'm going to lay back down. I hope to hear from you soon.
In Him,
Zane
On June 18, 2000, Zane Thomas Schulte lost his battle with cancer. At Zane's funeral, all of his friends and family shared countless tales of the times he had inspired them or lifted them up. His was not a selfish life.
Staying positive
 For the last seven years, Barbra has dedicated herself to teaching others how to be better. It really doesn't matter what they do, she helps them to learn to keep a positive attitude, learn from their mistakes and, most importantly, have fun.
A professional cutting trainer since 1982, Barbra grew up the daughter of horse trader Cletus Hulling in southern Illinois. With 400-500 horses on the place, each of the five kids had a string of ponies and horses to ride, train and sell. Barbra showed from elementary school through college as a way to help market the family's horses.
With a bachelor's degree in speech pathology and audiology from Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois, she left horses for a time to pursue a Master's degree in the same field at Western Washington University in Bellingham, Washington. She worked as administrator of speech and auditory skill development at the Arizona State School for the Deaf and Blind in Phoenix, Arizona, before working as an instructor training teachers for the deaf at the University of Arizona. She finished up her first career as the head speech pathologist for Okanogan Home Health Care in Okanogan, Washington, in 1982.
Along the way, her sister Tootie introduced her to a tall, basketball coach named Tom Schulte. Not being a horse person, after they were married Tom still supported Barbra's return to training and eventually joined her in developing their business, the Center for Equestrian Performance.
From 1982, Barbra kept a full barn of 10-40 horses and coached amateurs to various national titles. She didn't only coach, she could ride. She was the first woman to win the Augusta Cutting Futurity in Augusta, Georgia; the National Cutting Horse Association Super Stakes Classic in Fort Worth; and the NCHA Derby in Fort Worth.
Then she picked up a book entitled "Mental Toughness Training for Sport," and her whole life changed. Barbra knew she enjoyed training horses and coaching amateurs, but she wasn't sure that was what she wanted to do forever.
One day, Tom noticed in the paper that the author of the book, Dr. James Lair of LGE Sports Sciences Inc., was going to hold a clinic in Orlando, Florida. From the book, Barbra had found that LGE was one of the top mental trainers of Olympic athletes and business executives, and they were looking to branch out into other disciplines.
"Prior to reading the book," Barbra said, "I noticed that the best horse didn't always win. So much of a run depended on the person showing the horse. After reading the book, I took a risk. I sent all of the horses home and decided to become certified."
Once she had received the training, the problem was blending the theories she had learned at LGE with the infinitely technical sport of cutting. Plus, she had to get the information to the people that needed it most.
Starting with local clinics, Barbra and Tom have grown their business to include video and audio tape series, appearances on syndicated radio and television programs and national and international clinics. She's written one book, "Cutting, One Run at a Time," with a second on the way. National equestrian magazines have used her as a source for multiple stories on being better mentally prepared for competition.
Now, Barbra presents one or two clinics a year, and she's gone back to training eight to 10 horses at a time. She takes amateurs who have goals similar to hers, riders who want to have fun along with success.
"Over time, I've learned what works for me," Barbra reflected. "I love to train, show and teach."
The best lesson
One of the paramount foundations of all of Barbra's professional training is turning negatives into positives. As you look into their eyes, you know that, through the hurt, Barbra and Tom truly feel blessed for the 16 years they had with Zane.
"Perhaps telling the story will inspire others," Barbra said. "Telling and writing about it gives his struggle more meaning, and it comforts me.
"It's changed the way I live my life. I've become more spiritual, and I will forever be more compassionate and emphatic. But most of all, it's given me the courage to live what's right."
Ironically, the greatest lesson Barbra learned wasn't in a book, it was in an example.
by Jim Brett Campbell
reprinted from The Quarter Horse Journal
|
